the days are moving steadily,

to the untamed beat of an erratic drum. 

from here on, i declare,

to steady the beat of this torn sneer. 

My poetry has flat-lined.

yes, I may write a lot

but my progression as a writer 

has slowed. I’ve hit a plateau.

I believe it’s because there’s 

only so much I know. I’ve dispelled

all the insight from knowledge I have,

and now my well is dried out. 

I need more, I’ve always needed more.

I’ve never been content. 

To me, life should be a race,

where you should be hell-bent

on finding new experience. 

I want to move, I want to get away,

from this state, and the same county

I’ve spent all my time. There’s so much

I crave to know, and mind has hit a plateau. 

There’s hardly anything left here for me to discover. 

I need, 

new endeavors. 

Constantly. I’m not meant to lead

a life of consistency. I will grow mad. 

Symptoms of which, I’m already starting to have. 

the night is over,
and it may not seem like much
but I’m officially a day older. 

I know I’m still so young,
and everyone  old tells me so,
but one day I will be them,
saying the same thing to someone young. 

I shouldn’t fret about it, but i still do.
And i don’t know how to stop my mind
from thinking grim thoughts all the time.

Happy thought, happy thoughts.

My days are spent forcing myself
to try and think happy thoughts.

Love is fading,
and I’m doing all i can to save it,

but maybe sometimes love isn’t enough.

other factors interfere,
and maybe there’s no comeback
from all I’ve endured. 

and to think the love i thought so strong,
only ended up being wrong.

it’s tearing me apart.
my heart is a delicate red robin,
and every morning it’s supposed to sing,
but lately it’s only been dim. 

what am I to do,
how do I decipher a soul encrypted
by ideals I still hold strong,
and have faith one day will come true.

but in reality, I’ve lost all of the truths I’ve known,
my passion has been sucked out of me
like an exorcism was performed. 
I do not know myself anymore. 

Love, how can you be so strong
and weak at the same time. 
I write these pathetic words,
and it takes a hit on my pride
for all the time I spent, believing
everything would work out.

Maybe it still will, 
or maybe it won’t.
All I know is I’m prepared
to endure the despair
of losing the only thing I’ve loved. 

how do you know if love is truthfully so,

when all your friends are trading in their

calddagh rings and moving on to different things.

Seven years they were together, my best friend
and her boyfriend John. And now, their love is gone.

I’m trying to understand, but my mind can’t comprehend.

How often is love actually permanent?
And how do you know if the love you have will with-stand
the forces of this erratic life. Yes, all is fine, well close to fine,
but will it be forever. I guess the only conclusion there
is to reach, involves enjoying what you have for now.

A lifetime, is a very long time.
Much longer than seven years.
I think I’m starting to understand that love is flimsy,

more than often, it often comes and goes.

I am in love. And I hope it stays.
But if one day it begins to flicker,
and starts to flutter away, I’ll rememeber
this very day. And I’ll console myself
with the fact that nothing good can ever last.

And from there, I’ll gather the scattered pieces of my heart,
find a new start, and begin the process again.

Only rarely does love live a life of longevity.
And I hope my love has what it takes to succeed.

This poem is an attempt to analyze myself.

So I sit back, and close my eyes, trying to probe my mind.

I am not hateful, but I dislike the customs of this lifestyle.
And I dislike those who were sucked into its influence,
even if it’s not their fault. It would be like blaming a child
for turning into a thug cause they grew up in poverty.

We are who we are for a number of reasons.
And a lot of it has to do with the influences
that have breached our pasts. If you’re raised to be a prince,
you will most likely shine. If you raised in a family of six,
in a two bedroom apartment in a criminal inner-city,
you’ll be lucky to graduate high school. And minimum-
wage plus welfare is what will get you through your days.

But what about me? I’m stuck in-between, raise do to know
the value of a college degree, but unable to conform to
careers in demand. Fuck the system, I don’t want to work for the man.
I don’t want to play into the downfall of society.
I want to change the game. I want to reinvent culture
and reintroduce the world’s youth to the intelligent design
of art, words, meaning. Truth is being lost to technology.
Facebook is devouring the potential of everyone. And twitter,
and instagram. Don’t you have anything better to do?

Wait, yes. You do. This life has a lot to offer,
but being brainwashed is too easy these days.
And believe me, I’ve experienced its ability
to rope you in and grasp you tight, it’s
definitely an easier type of life.

But fuck that, I wanna live life my own way.
I don’t want to subconsciously choose to
do whatever advertisers say. I refuse to be
a heavy-consumer in this materialistic land.
I am the defender in the case against creativity.

Its on stand and faces the death penalty.
There are people that want it to die, so that
free-will will finally be out of the picture,
and the minds of the masses will be easier to tame.

I will not let you hang, creativity.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’ve always been there for me.

Keep typing, type away.
you’re too young to be so jaded.
It’s true your optimism has faded.
Love has wronged and hurt you,
but you will pull through.
And the world isn’t as bad
as you believe it to be. Well,
okay, maybe it is, but one day soon
you’ll start seeing the positive again.

And hopefully, that same love that
burnt you to a crisp, will still be there,
helping you to mend the burns it created.

Jaded. I am, so
jaded.

But I will find redemption,
and it’ll be swell, and I will be
a stronger person, this I can tell.

Soon I will wake up and once again
have hope for my days. Soon I will realize
that death is too far away to worry. I am
young. Too young to be this jaded.
Soon, soon I will find my innocence again,
it’s somewhere close I can tell, and I’ll
latch onto it, and never let it go.

I miss you, my innocence,
and your optimistic, inspiration glow.

tumblr, my dearest and most humble friend,
let me reveal to you a secret I have.

I am lost. I tried to plug “sanity” into my GPS
and it lead my down a desolate dirt road,
that ended up being nothing more than a dead end.

Dead ends are all I’ve been finding lately,
plus a couple of culdesacs, and around
and around I went. Begging, pleading,
that it’d lead me somewhere new, but
all I found was nothing at all.

After I tried my GPS, and it didn’t work at all,
I pulled out an old, dusty road map,
and with my finger I traced what I thought
would be the right path. But when I finally
arrive at my destination, it was another dead end.

I’m on the mend. At least, I pretend.
Life’s a labyrinth, and I can’t find my way out.
But I’ll still push, starting over from every dead end,
until I find the right entrance to advance into.

And from there, hopefully
I’ll learn to steer my mind
in the right direction
for the rest of time.

as spring blooms

and the beauty around me thaws

my soul remains ice-cold.


my vision blurred by a collage of stress,

anxiety feels as though it’s slowly peeling away my flesh.

I’m being skinned alive.
Happy hour’s not til five,

but I’m two beers deep,

and already wish I was back asleep.

tonight a word was said that sent heads spinning,
what a funny thing, the reaction just one word can bring.

It’d be nice if everyone was just as concerned
with improving humanity in many regards as they
were with this word. But I doubt that is the case.

I bet many who accused me of being racists are bigots themselves,
or don’t support gun-control, or believe atheists are going to hell.

We are all wrong, that is why the world is shit.
So maybe focus on improving yourselves,
instead of finding ways to point blame and
avoid the flaws within yourself. Goodnight,

and peace to all.

look, I don’t care. I don’t care what you did or did not find offensive. If you’re so big and bold why are you posting anonymously. If i want to tell someone to shut up, I will, because most likely, it’s a necessary step on the path to world-peace and prosperity because some people just shouldn’t talk. Am I being ignorant now? Look, once again, I don’t care. I enjoy being sarcastic as fuck and that’s the only reason I’m taking the time to respond to this random group of degenerates (you included) that’s hatin’ on a sista for no reason. And as for respect, this is tumblr. What the fuck kind of respect can you actually gain on tumblr. And maybe I don’t want respect from narrow-minded, provincial bitches like yourself. Goodnight, anonymous.

whatisinmycrazymind said: that is like me saying it’s fine for people to throw around the word dego. just because people say it doesn’t mean you jump on the ban wagon.

Dear “whatisinmycrazymind”,

you just said the word “dego” and I’m absolutely insulted. and I disagree, I think if anyone says anything you should always jump on the ban wagon. the ban wagon is where the fun is at! If I’d never jumped on the ban wagon, I wouldn’t have ever been addicted to heroin! I wouldn’t have been loaded up on PCP since I was 12! And crack, can’t fuckin’ forget crack..that was a great ban wagon experience.  Honestly, I suggest to everyone and anyone, if a ban wagon rolls by, fuckin HOP ON IT.

I’m confused as to why everyone’s offended by me using the “n” word to make a point about rappers rapping it all the time, but they didn’t raise issue to the phrase “dick lips”. I find “dick lips” to be far more offensive. I am not racist people. My great grandfather was actually BB King, believe it or not. But seriously, I’m sorry if I truly offended you. And if you’re just a whiny ass biatch who enjoys being contentious, then eff off. Maybe everyone should get some sleep, things are getting a little testy around here. Good day and good night.

Geez, such a harsh reaction from people. Loosen up a bit, life is short, we’re all friends here, aren’t we? I’m sorry for offending, I shall never, ever, ever use it again in my life. Even though I hear it on the radio all the time. My sincerest apologizes.

oh shut up. I am far from racist. if you are truly offended then De-friend me. otherwise it seems to me that you’re the type of person who attempts to make an argument out of everything. I am not racist. I have plenty of black friends. I was using the word to make a point. Get over it. Drama’s for yo momma